


More...

by Deathbyhook



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Compliant, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Force Ghost Body Guard, Guardian Angel, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Post-Canon, Slow Burn, Time Travel, World Between Worlds, don't worry- not ben, more like Ben is able to communicate with Rey throughout time, not really - Freeform, you'll like it i promise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 09:40:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21891877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deathbyhook/pseuds/Deathbyhook
Summary: The Galaxy is finally in everlasting peace. Yet, Rey has not been able to rest or find comfort in the victory of defeating Palpatine... Ben is dead...Rey is convinced, however, that he is still there. She believes it for some unknowable reason, the Force urging her to keep hope.After all, a Dyad in the Force is not something they could have prepared for- and nothing is impossible....
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 15
Kudos: 80





	1. No Other Choice

**Author's Note:**

  * For [taralkariel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/taralkariel/gifts).

As if playing a violin, the Force’s energy plucks a sobering melody. Painful and gothic notes vibrate through the Galaxy as Rey’s body lay cold and lifeless on the black stone of the Sith’s grand hall. Ashes of the dead and crushed stone floats in the air. Stark and poignant, the tinge of death permeates the air.

A harsh echo of a hand slapping against the edge of a massive crack in the earth shakes through the morbid atmosphere; a single high note of hope mingles with the eerie darkness. Ben Solo rises from the depths, clutching his broken chest. A split bone in his thigh scrapes against it own splinters. He falls. A broken gasp escapes his chest. The desperation to get to _ her _ overpowers the pain that lances vital acute points all over his body. Ben momentarily has black and white spots dance around his vision. He breathes deeply, palms bracing, before thrusting himself forward.

Falling one more time, before making his way to Rey- he finds himself frozen. Her eyes, they are open. Her hazel eyes now dulled into lifeless, glassy greens and golds. Ben almost gives in to this pain. A pain deeper and more potent that his broken body. A trembling breath rushes out of him.

Slowly, gently, his hands grab hold of her. Pulling her towards him, he pivots their bodies so that he can carry the weight of her over his lap.

Her head falls back slightly, the slack held by his hands. And Ben’s worst fears are confirmed. Cold, like stone, Rey lays dead in his arms. 

Ben’s body shivers with the emptiness he feels from her side of the bond. But it isn’t just emptiness, it’s a tear. A feeling of torn vessels and flesh. As if a limb were viciously ripped from him; and it was. She died. She was taken from him.

And it hits him square in the chest, bruising the walls of his heart. It flutters painfully through him, as he begins to lose his grip. In and out, quick, he struggles to take in air as breaths catch on battered corners of his lungs. 

** _No…_ **

His hands roll slightly, wanting to reach inside her- find her soul and drag it back to the surface. Kneading her hardening flesh, to keep her warm; feeling the heat fading impossibly fast. 

Ben searches around them, desperate to find an answer in the rubble. Perhaps a miraculous rune will point the way. Or a Force ghost will appear to offer sagely advice… but there is nothing. And every second is a wasted moment.

He looks at her smooth skin. Her freckles. The high cheekbones, and the soft flesh of her lips. He wants so desperately to bury her inside him, keep her there; give her as much of himself as he could. He wants to touch her face. Kiss her cheek. Crush her in a hold and never let go…

But he doesn’t. Because this wasn’t a moment where he gets what he wants. Ben realizes, with sudden clarity, that this moment was about her. It would always have led to this moment. Him surrendering to her, in some way. And he gladly accepts it. 

Ben pulls her close, one last chance to make sure she’s truly not there. Listening for a breath. Waiting for a sign that her chest my expand. Nothing…

Then, as if his own Force had dampened; drained by Palpatine no doubt, the proximity allows a fixed point within him swell with warmth. Like a beacon. A light tower on the coast of a rocky sea. I ebs, but swells again, as he focuses the warmth towards her. 

** _There…_ **

He feels her. A small flickering of light. Not enough to keep her warm, to keep her alive, but just enough that if a man was stranded at sea he'd see the small flame of a candle in the window. And he is that man…

** _I know what I have to do…_ **

With a resolute and heavy nod, his eyes emulate the choice he is about to make. Draping her gently over his arm, holding her head, he lays his other hand over her middle. He feels a nearly imperceptible echo of _ her _ there. With a deep breath, steadying himself, Ben closes his eyes and chases that echo through the Force. 

** _Be with me…_ ** He begs her. 

Like heat rising from desert sand, his Force shimmers up. A tendril of sorts, a mirage- unseen but felt. It is all him. He holds it for a moment. Solidifying it, weaving it, until it is a tether. Soft and warm and woven with all the words and emotions he’ll never get to express…

** _Rey…_ **

He now wraps the ribbon around that last flickering ember. Feels the life of her fluttering light brighten for a moment, as if his breath stoked her little life left. He breathes deeper. 

** _Be with me…_ **

Ben feels it as it shimmers brighter again. And he coaxes it more, wrapping the string around it- _ her- _ over and over until it becomes a knot. And then… he pulls. 

He feels it then. The stubborn echo begins to sing. It begins to roar. And the string feels less heavy the more he pulls… It is almost as if with every inch he gains, another pair of hands grasps onto the tether; pulling along with him. And with a shocking realization, he knows it’s the _ Force _ that pulls with him. He can feel it, can feel _ them, _ then. All the Jedi. All of the Force. And he can now feel _ her… _

** _Rey…_ **

Her Force burns like a desert sun… 

** _I’m here with you…_ **

Ben feels small fingers wrap over his hand. His eyes open. A puff of air escapes his broken chest. Her eyes blink as she fully returns to the world- to _ him _… 

Rey sits up abruptly; shock registering across her face. She pulls away slightly. Her eyes darting between them, seeing their bodies so close- so intertwined. Ben’s wonder dampens into a sad apprehension, bracing himself to be pushed away.

But, by the Force, her eyes soften into a wonder of her own. Joy- _ hope… _

“Ben,” her voice is a benediction. Absolution. And _ acceptance… _

The hand Rey placed over his, now travels up to cup his cheek. Her eyes flit to his trembling lips. And her blinding smile turns into something else- something heavier...

Rey leans forward, then. Ben’s eyes widen- only slightly. She pauses, with a shuddering breath, and searches his face for a sign to stop. But only finds his awe. And so, her lips kiss his. 

Their breaths synchronize. His arms tighten around her. Enveloping her with his reverence. Telling her with every slight pressure, what he may never get to say. They breathe each other in. The Force sighs in contentment around them.

Rey is the one to break the kiss. She has so much to say. To her, there’s so much they need to do. So much they could have the chance to do…

Her smile is returned by a toothy one of his own; a hint of Han in his joyous expression. All of her words die on her tongue as his face sobers. 

“Rey,” he blinks, and Rey suddenly knows what is happening. She shakes her head, firmly holding his face in her hand, “_ You _ were greater than my destiny.” 

His eyes close, then, and she feels him shrink in their bond…

** _No, Ben- no…_ **

Ben falls backward. Rey scrambles to catch him. Her hands grasp his neck and hand. His Force dissipates, and the feeling of _ him _ fades too fast for her to catch her breath. She thinks all is lost, but the Force around them begins to hum busily. It pools underneath his body and wraps itself over him. The humming builds into a song, and glistens. Slowly, Ben fades. His robes deflating where he lay, as he becomes one with the Force…

Rey blinks; choking on a breath; the loss of him- too soon. Her hands scramble over the tunic, keening forward to bury her face into the wavy folds of the fabric. His warmth still there. She lets her sobs free. Tears wet the dusty black tunic. 

The floor begins to rumble. And tremors make the unstable columns of the cavern groan. She swallows a sob and looks upward. The Destroyers are finally hitting the surface. She wipes an ungraceful arm over her snot and tears, and picks herself up; grabbing his tunic. With the Force, she calls the sabers to her and runs; escaping this tomb.

  
  
  


** _Some time later…_ **

  
  


Peace. Balance. 

War is over. The worlds are free. Republics and sovereign planets are finding their own ways back to democracy. Families are reunited and celebrations echo throughout the Galaxy. An effervescent anthem of delight and pride. And it’s different this time. It doesn’t take a Force user to feel it. This time, the Galaxy has gotten a taste of standing up for what is right, and the very clear and lasting belief reverberates through all creatures and beings- _ never again. _

Yet, amongst all this good, Rey has sequestered herself to a desert world- separated from her friends. From the family she had saved…

The old desert home is silent, save for the hum of moisture rods divesting the air of its water. The smell of stale air is less potent at it had been nearly a month ago. The white of the walls revived; an empty bucket and drying rag lay in the corner. The dust and hill of sand that littered the courtyard was now gone; shovels and brooms neatly tucked in their outer compartment...

It’s been weeks since the fall of the Final Order. It's been weeks since Ben disappeared. And try as she might, she has searched for him in the Force. Only to get radio silence. 

“Rey,” Leia sighs, concerned.

Rey jumps, wiping away greasy tendrils of hair away from her face. The swip leaves a long oil stain across her cheek. Leia spots the blisters and newly forming calluses on her hand.

“I’d expect that judgy look from Luke,” Rey grumbles. Leia snorts, laying a hand on her hip.

“I’d expect the pity party from my son,” Leia shoots back. Rey blinks, caught off guard. Luke actively avoids talking about Ben when he checks on her. But leia? It only makes sense that she would be the more forward one… like her son…

Rey’s face crumbles; contorting and giving into the pain that wracks through her chest.

“Leia,” she sobs. Leia melts, chastened, and she slowly makes her way to Rey. Rey scrunches away slightly, for no real reason, other than to keep her pain hidden. A futile attempt.

“Never hide from your feelings, Rey,” Leia coos; her arms enveloping the young Skywalker.

“It hurts so much,” Rey chokes on the admission, “I can't find him. I can't _ feel _ him. But i know he isn’t dead. The Force... It wants me to hold hope... Where is he?”

“Oh, honey,” Leia’s voice lowers into a somber tone, “He is within you.”

Her hand pets Rey’s matted, grimy hair. The other presses comfortingly over her sweat crusted robes. Gently brushes away the dirt covering her exposed arms.

“Rey, it’s time to care for yourself,” Leia says and softly as possible. Rey’s eyes fly up to defy the not-so suggestion. Leia’s curt gaze silences her, her translucent fingers wipe Rey’s cheek and she splays them before Rey’s eyes, “taking time to care for yourself, isn't going to keep you from finding him any sooner. The Force will reveal itself to you when you’re ready. Be patient Rey… Grappling onto what you want out of fear is no way to live.”

Rey gulps. Feeling naked under Leia’s apt observation. Pushing herself up off the mat she uses to meditate, she walks to the nearest fresher...

“She’s in bad shape, Luke,” Leia calls out. Luke shimmers before her, Rey still in the other room.

“I told you,” He says with a sigh. Leia, slaps him.

“Ow! Leia?” Luke’s indignant cry would otherwise be comical, if it weren't punctuated by Leia’s very clear displeasure.

“You told her to go looking for him-” she scolds. 

“Leia, his body disappeared, he became one with the Force,” when its clear that wasn’t convincing enough, he continues, “your son brought Rey back from the _ dead, for _ crying out loud! You have any idea how connecting to the Force you’d have to be to do that? He’s somewhere; she just has to keep looking...”

Leia’s angered look softens to something sadder, “What if even sacrificing himself wasn't enough?”

“Oh Leia,” Luke sighs, reaching for his sister’s hands, “That’s not how the Force works.”

“The Force doesn’t take sides. It doesn’t punish for sins. If you reach a place where you can be one with the Force, when you pass on into it, you can keep your self. You can still live within it… Sometimes- it just takes time before you’re able to be seen again. Most people, who didn’t care enough or weren’t able to get to that point, become a part of the Force- to be reborn somewhere else, somehow.”

“Oh,” Leia says plainly, “I just thought-”

“- I know,” Luke smiles softly. A brotherly hand squeezes Leia’s shoulder.

“Well, I figured, them being a Dyad- after he gave the rest of his life’s energy- that he became one with her…” Leia’s thought trails off. She hears the fresher turn off. 

“They were what?” Luke’s eyes suddenly light up with shock. As a world shattering realization passes through his mind and into hers. Her own eyes widen in terror.

“You mean to tell me that _ Luke Skywalker _, greatest Jedi of all time, happened to miss that pertinent detail?”

“Leia, I was a hermit.”

“You became, how _ you _ put it, ‘ _ One with the Force _’- for a year!” Leia’s eyes roll impossibly round. 

Rey walks out of the quarters, dressed, with wet hair as the two siblings commit to a glare-off.

“Er, what did I miss?”

“Rey, we have something to tell you…”

Her eyes well up. The feeling the half joy, half horror, fills her up with hope.

“We think Ben is alive. And we _ can _ help you find him.”

  
  
  
  


** _In the World between Worlds-_ **

The feeling of weightlessness hits him first. He feels _ other _. And he simply accepts that he’s dead.

** _You’re not dead…_ ** a soft voice speaks to him, within the Force. 

The voice is familiar somehow. Almost like his own, like when he was younger. His eyes open, painfully fast. Even the pitch black seems to strain his eyes… His eyes begin to focus.

Before him is a young man. A man who looks like him. Only less awkward. 

_ Who is he? _

“You know that already,” the young man snorts, with a soft crooked smile. His mother's smile…

“Anakin Skywalker,” he says breathlessly.

“Hi, Ben,” he says. Right before Ben passes out.


	2. Interstellar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey has just been left on Jakku, and just when she feels all alone- a friend helps her through the adversity she’ll find there...
> 
> Ben has been thrust into the past by a meddling grandfather. Apparently there’s a purpose to this prison of time. And when he sees a young Rey in need of protection, everything begins to makes sense...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen to “everything I wanted” by Billie Eilish while reading this chapter! 
> 
> Please leave comments or questions, sometimes I write a little too abstractly that maybe I forget to finish a point I began making! I always love feedback! Enjoy:)

** _18 years earlier…_ **

  
  


This desert planet is a planet riddled with the bones of annihilated Destroyer ships and Rebel fleets. A place where a desert consumed the surface, and sparse moisture rods jut out from the sand to sustain the little life that did remain. A perfect dune infested battleground to bury secrets, and leave behind a past best forgotten, but nonetheless a scar on the Galaxy’s history. Beige and hot, seared into the fabric of life that continues to move on. An echo of regret.

** _Why did they leave? They’re coming back. They have to. They love me..._ **

And so a lie is born. Birthed out of pain. Thrust into the world where memories mean everything to a child, and the forcefulness of its creation seared itself into her soft tissues; becoming a _ belief _.

“Move, girl!” an old stubby creature hisses at her, pushing her from the cot that she shares with two other children. The other two younglings have already risen and dressed. Rey’s small eyes well up, realizing there was work to be done… She’s learned however, that rising before the Sun meant more time in the shaded protection of the ships she was meant to climb and pick through.

She apparently doesn’t move quickly enough, as a swift claw swats her rear- hard. The sneer of the wrinkled green face is horribly mean, “You need to earn your keep, or you can sleep in the dunes. Now _ move _.”

Rey slips on her boots. The only thing she removed before bed. The first day awakening here was the worst, she learned. Her bottom lip still bruised…

“Sorry Master Anaka,” she says with wobbly breath. The creature simply sniffs, and resumes walking through the barracks; using a cane to lift blankets on the bunks to make sure there were no stragglers. There never were…

  
  
  


  
The day is long. Harsh. As it has been for the past month. Rey climbs through the smallest of spaces to pluck wires and rotors for the man named Plutt. He was a mean man. And she didn’t like it when he wanted a hug… He smelled, and held onto her for longer than she liked… She shivers. Her heart hammering in her ears as she thinks of his drool. She remembers the voice in her head telling her not to trust him.

_ Not that one _, the voice says to her now. She giggles. It always tickles when she hears the voice. She likes it, her friend. She’d had friends like it, at home. She could even hear her mummy and daddy’s voices. And the way she heard them always tickled her neck and the skin just under her ears.

_ Rey… _ it says sternly. Her lip pouts a bit. Starting to wobble… she _ feels _ the apology before the voice gives a soft ‘sorry’.

“It’s okay,” she says out loud. Too loudly. She flinches, looking back at the opening of the container she’s in, Anaka staring at her with venom in his eyes- and suspicion.

_ Be careful, Rey… _ the voice says to her. She knows this time it’s not mad at her, but at Anaka. She feels terrified all of a sudden. The weight of its anger is hot and staticky. It vibrates through her. And she knows something bad could happen...Rey pulls away her hand from the dataport. Just as a spark of electricity shoots off the dirty black wall. It almost felt like it came from her hand... 

_ Rey, oh, I’m so sorry… _ hot tears stream down Rey’s face. She stifles her sobs, knowing that Anaka will only hurt her more than the shock she just felt. She rocks herself, rubbing her hands… _ Close your eyes. Breathe. _

Despite feeling suddenly afraid of this voice, she does as it says. A calm washes over her and she feels safe and warm and loved…

**_How’d you do that?_** She asks in her mind- full of wonder. She almost feels a joy and chuckle from the friend. 

_ I didn’t, you did, _ it responds- with a strange tone. The feeling of pride washes over her. She doesn’t fight the smile that beams across her face. 

Rey is nearly overcome with excitement. She wants to show the other kids. Knowing they feel hurt and sad and lonely like she does...

_ No, Rey. No one can know, _ her face drops. And it feels like her friend is frustrated, _ I’m not mad. I promise. You can’t tell anyone, Rey. There are very bad people who will want to hurt you, if they find out. _

** _Like, Plutt?_ **

_ Yes, like Plutt… _ Rey nods, only understanding in the most rudimentary of ways, agreeing to keep this trick to herself. Trusting her friendly voice implicitly.

_ Okay, sweetheart. Let’s find some more stuff. I bet we can get a really big meal tonight. _

Her eyes light up with the purest of happiness. Food is always her favorite thing to think about. 

  
  


** _13 years ago…_ **

“How dare you, you little shit!” Anaka hollers, before remembering he was supposed to be quiet. His claw digs into the flesh of her cheeks, covering her mouth.

Rey’s eyes narrow, filled with venom, and Anaka realizes too late his mistake. She opens her mouth wide, and chomps down into a vice grip of teeth and skin. Nearly ripping her way to his bone.

Anaka howls again. And it’s enough to wake the other wardens. The lamps flicker alive, and confused rumbles signal that the jig is up. Anaka’s eyes widen until his whites become red, as the blood vessels become exposed. 

“Anaka, what the bloody hell are you doing?” Plutt stomps out, asking as his eyes fall onto Rey. He sees her bloody nose, and tied hands; the sack thrown onto her back awkwardly over her restrained arms. And Rey watches as Plutt’s eyes register what was happening, “So- you’re thinking of _ selling _ her are you?”

Lips begin to twist into a sadistic smirk, hearing Plutt’s voice and seeing Anaka begin to shake.

“I- I,” the small trembling creature fails to speak, as Plutt gets closer.

“Move aside _ girl _,” Plutt demands. For the first time Rey obeys his request. Rey works quickly to get knotted rope off of her, as Anakas hands drop their hold. Plutt replaces the grip with his own, on Anaka’s neck. 

_ Rey, look away… _ the voice insists. She decides not to. Her anger envelopes her. _ Rey, please… _

** _He deserves this._ **

_ Yes, but _ you _ don't… _ The voice trembles. Impossibly sad.

Rey blinks. Chastened. Shame flooding her, ** _I’m sorry._ **

_ Leave… now… _ but she moves too slow, and hears the gurgling as Anaka’s breath struggles to escape; Plutt’s hands crushing his windpipe. Rey feels the life draining from Anaka. Feels the pain. Feels the air around him shudder morbidly. Feels the sick, twisted joy radiating off Plutt.

Anaka’s body falls lifeless before her; dust from the hard ground picks up and floats away. Almost like a soul. Rey is frozen to her spot now. She could have been sold. Could have left with the man who came for her. Anaka would still be alive…

** _It’s all my fault…_ **

_ He’d still be dead, sweetheart. He was going to sell you. And you want to stay, you know this planet now- these people. It's safer, for now… _ she feels the importance of it- the truth in the words- but she still feels an insurmountable guilt. _ It’s okay, I’m here… _

Plutt turns around abruptly, clearly satisfied. He ambles his way to Rey, his vile rolls sloshing, and he reaches a swollen stubby hand to stroke her cheek. His hand moving to her shoulder…

“No one will ever take you from me,” Plutt says. His voice making her shiver, the part of her she never spoke about implores her to run.

_ Rey, it's time to go _ now _ . The staff- grab it and hit him… _ the voice sounds like a furious guardian. That’s what is was after all. Helping her find enough scraps to eat. Telling her when to avoid a tent or to stay weary of new travelers. And telling her when to strike.

** _Where do I hit him?_ ** She asks. Perhaps more clinical than an almost 10 year old should.

Suddenly Rey sees herself, sees herself grab the staff and spin; using the dull end of the staff to spear him in the groin.

Rey does not hesitate. She lunges for the staff, and spins like she had seen in the image, and jabs Plutt square in the groin. She puts the weight of years full of fear and anger into that blow. Plutt roars in agony, flopping to the ground. 

_ Grab the sack, Rey… and _ run _ … _the voice commands. She obeys without question. She leaps over Plutts grubby leg, swooping down to grab the sack and then sprinting into the vast desert of Jakku. The night’s winds chilling her exposed arms, and the darkness making her quick steps labored as she trips over the peaks and dips in the sand.

She keeps running, her lungs on fire and her shins going numb.

_ Okay, sweetheart… you can rest now… _its soothing tone makes a sob explode from her chest.

“No,” she growls, “I have to keep going.”

_ You’re going to hurt yourself, sweetie… _

“I don’t care!” she roars. Tasting copper on her breath. Her nostrils flare painfully, greedy for air she’s struggling to breathe.

_ Rey… _ the growl she hears only spurs her on more.

“No! I deserve it!” and suddenly, a stitch catches in her thigh. And she falls like a heavy haul of scraps onto the fold of a dune.

She cries. The pain of five years flowing through her. Painting her insides black and blue. The most horrid memories even cutting her. Coughing, wailing, pounding her fists into the sand. She’s a fury of agony. 

_ Rey… _ the voice is soft- too soft. It should be angry with her. It should scold her- rebuke her. _ Oh, Rey… _

“Why are you my friend?” she asks it. It doesn’t answer. And she becomes small; curls into herself. The wind quickens suddenly and it brushes against her arms. Only…

It’s not wind. It’s- warm... Soft. It feels like a large hand rubbing her arm, and then she feels cradled, enveloped in more warmth. The feeling of home and love floods over her.

_ Someday I’ll tell, sweetheart. For now- get some rest. I’ll watch over you… _

  
  
  


The little girl rests her head on the sand, not knowing her little head was actually tucked perfectly in the crook of a large arm. A broad back taking the brunt of the wind, so that she wouldn't freeze in her sleep. A pair of dark eyes watched over her, as promised. A pair of large puffy lips smile sweetly for the little girl. A hand swipes them, to remove the tears and snot. 

She was almost sold to another master. Ben’s arms curl a tad more around Rey; protectively. Anaka had seen too much of the Force in her. He’d caught her talking to her ‘friend’ too many times. Suspected for too long that she was special- finding too many valuable scraps. Getting too many large meals. Ben should have been more careful. Should have taught Rey to be more careful. Taught her that she’s need to space out her big meals, to seem lucky. But as long as he was around, she’d be too noticeable. Too _ special _. 

He looks back down to this wonderful little creature. So full of spirit. Beautiful. He loves her so. As a friend, protector, mentor… He’s paying for his sins. Atoning for them. And she is the most rewarding penance. He knows that’s not how the Force works- but he can’t quantify why he’s been given this purpose of caring for her. Jettisoned in a map of time. Anakin had told him, to help her meant to be there for her- through it _ all _. And he intends to be here for every painstaking moment… but… for her safety- her survival. He’d have to say goodbye. For now…

Rey rolls over in his arms, the sunlight peaks over the dune. Her little nose wrinkling in distaste for the morning. He chuckles. Obstinate as ever, even in sleep.

_ Rey… _he says softly. His pinky poking the tip of her nose. She swats at it, huffing. She mumbles something under her breath- the name Anaka punctuating the incoherent sentence. There’s a pause, but her deep breaths stop. And slowly, sadly, her eyes open.

“Oh,” she sighs sadly. Remembering Anaka. Remembering her guilt. 

_ We’re gonna find shelter, you need more rest, and being in the sun too long will kill you… _

He can't afford to mince words. There’s little time left with her, until he has to do what he will do. And he needs to give her some sense of survival for her own.

“Where?” her little voice wobbles. He helps her sit up, before he places hands on her small shoulders.

_ Rey, close your eyes… _ she does as he asks. _ Breathe deeply. Good. Now imagine you’re the sun; imagine your the heat in the air. Imagine you’re the sunshine. Can you feel it? _

She nods. He can see and feel that she does. She’s completely flooded full of the force.

_ Okay- now i need you to imagine you’re able to pass through all the rays of sunshine. Pass through them as you feel where they touch. Sand, rocks, creatures. See if you can find a shelter. Feel a shelter through the sunshine. Focus- don’t rush. And tell me what you see. _

She giggles. He chuckles, adoring her quirky reaction to using the Force; knowing it must feel like a tickle to her. 

“Oh!” she exclaims. Ben’s heart leaps for joy. Rey’s eyes shoot open. Her body turns to the west, looking over a specific ridge, a small hand flies up to point, “There’s an old walker two ridges over! I think there’s food and water in there!”

Pride swells within him, she wasn't just sensing the surface of things, she even felt _ within. _

_ Amazing- I’m so proud of you, young one. _ She beams in response, picks up her sack to run to the shelter. Her smaller legs move quickly, but he’s able to use the Force to jump ahead of her. 

Sure enough, undoubtedly, an AT-AT walker lays on its side; half buried in sand from years of abandonment. He walks inside. It’s dark and blessedly cooler than outside. He imagines the wall of sand, that covers what used to be the top of the machine, now helps keep the sun off most of the metal. Most of the transports had a climate regulator, and he looks around for it under the debris. He finds a small panel and senses he found it. He smiles. She’ll have cooling in here. And she’ll just scavenge for the parts when she needs it.

He takes a cursory glance over everything else, determining that no one else was squatting here, and goes outside to watch her little legs scurry towards the AT-AT.

“Wow! It’s so big!” she exclaims. Her voice so light and joyous. He chuckles. She feels his amusement and giggles herself.

_ Rey… _ he swallows. Hoping to hold off the inevitable heartbreak as long as possible. _ Rey- I need to teach you a few things before tonight. Understand? _

“Yes,” she says, standing up straight. Ben feels little Rey’s readiness to prove herself. He wishes he could tell her that she has nothing to worry about. That she’s going to be the most effortlessly powerful Force user in the Galaxy. More than him, even. But he can’t… not yet.

So he teaches her. Tells her how to feel rather than see when a machine is broken. Teaches her to feel and trust the defenses she already contains inside; to feel when and when not to trust a person. He teaches her how to clean, as simply as he can. Teaches her to make sure her hands are clean. Reminds her to bathe, but to conserve water. She won't know when Plutt will give her water. She sat there, and practiced everything he was teaching her. He watches her eyes narrowing, and as her jaw clenches in concentration. A sad smile taints the affectionate moment he feels for this little wonder.

The sun begins to set and her little body begins to slow. Grows groggy in the late hours.

_ Okay, sweetheart, I think that’s enough for one day… _ he coos. Her shoulders drop, she rolls them. Her little head rolls back and her lids droop. Ben puts a gentle hand on the back of her neck, steering her around pieces of makeshift furniture, as her eyes fully close. His heart warms knowing this little girl trusts him implicitly. And his heart breaks, knowing he is about to lose it irreparably. 

“Will you stay with me again tonight?” the softness of her tiny voice nearly makes him change his mind. He nearly swoops her up to hold onto her and protect her from whatever danger comes her way. The Force be damned… but he knows without a doubt that what is best for her is to keep her hidden. Hide her Force, even from her. Well- most of it anyway. She won't survive without the ability to find the parts or sense danger. He’ll silently help her when she needs it. Leaving a crack in a door for her.

_ I will always be here… _ He knows his voice gives away too much. Because her brows knit together, and she sits up. He sucks in a breath he know she cant hear. She’s looking right at him. He relaxes when her eyes seem to focus more on his collar bone, than his face.  
  


“Why do you sound so sad?” her voice is monotonous. His heart cracks. She’s too young to put up walls. But she also _ needs _ to…

_ I am sad…_

She sucks in a shuttery breath, “Are you leaving?”

He can't breathe. Her face on the verge of crumbling.

_ Yes… _

Rey keens forward. Her little torso folds over her criss-cross legs. Her little toes flex, as her chest heaves out sobs. And then she sits up reaching out for him.

He can’t help himself. He picks her up; cradling her in his arms. Rey nestles her little face into his neck, wiping her snot onto his tunic. He would find it adorable, if this moment wasn’t so insurmountably dour. And then, when he thinks this couldn't be more painful, she begins to pour out her painful confession.

“I’m sorry! I promise I won’t hurt anyone again! I’ll _ never _ want to, again! I promise I’ll be good… just… stay... _ Please!” _

Her words keep flowing. She bargains. She sobs. She pleads some more. All he can do is rub her back. The soft linen wrinkles under his fingers. Eventually she calms down, a lull in her heartbreak. His next words, he knows, will hurt her even more.

_ “I can’t stay, Rey. But you have nothing to regret. You should always protect yourself, even if it means hurting someone to do it- they won't hesitate to hurt you… I can’t stay because it isn't safe for you. I’ll always watch over you. But we can’t be friends anymore. I’m sorry.” _

Her crying turns into the kind of sobbing that steals your breath away. Rey chokes on tears, and Ben has to help her breathe. She cries for too long and eventually falls asleep cuddled into him. He lets his own chest shake with grief. Tears flowing down his face. He knows he’ll be near. Never to leave her side... But he won't be able to catch her when she falls. Won’t be able to teach her- or speak to her… But she’s everything to him and he needs to ensure Palpatine cannot find her for as long as possible.

Ben leans down, kisses the youthful curls on her temple, _ I’ll come back for you, sweetheart- I promise… _

Holding her tiny hand in his own, his other lays over her head- Ben feels her mind. He’s careful not to hurt her. Careful to imagine the memories in his head as he knows she sees it. And he folds the Force onto itself, _ their _ Force onto itself. The folds become so compact that it is like steel. Then he kneads it, spreads out the steel, polishing it into a silky shield. He searches for her flame. The one he brought back so many years ago… HE finds it easily. It’s wild. Free and spirited. He holds it, brushing his own over it, soothingly. Emoting to it that everything will be okay. And when he feels the trust between them, he hands over the shield. Her force, feeling the weight of all he knows, obligingly takes the shield and covers itself. It burns within still. He made sure to add cut out of stars upon the guild. Like a child’s night lantern. His own energy brushes against the tightly sealed lid. 

_ Oh Rey, I’ll see you soon… _

  
  
  
  
  


** _The years after…_ **

Time becomes an ocean of moments for Ben. A culmination of specific instances that define Rey. Define himself.

She’s ten. It’s only a week after he cut himself off from her. A week since he shielded her Force. She talks to herself- well- she talks to him. When she’s alone in the AT-AT. It almost always end in tears. Rey begging him to come back. Rey crying herself to sleep.

She’s still ten. A month has passed. She skips a day of scavenging. Beholden to herself now. Plutt no longer bothers her, after Ben began giving him night terrors, but he does rob her of fair portions for the parts she finds. She spends the day chiseling tick marks on a wall. She says nothing. He counts them- they are the amount of days she’s been on Jakku.

She’s twelve. Her climbing has become horrifically good. She manages to get herself to the highest points of destroyers, and then rides long cables, that are the ships’ old electrical wires, downward to ground level. Combing each level as she goes. One day she misjudges her grip and footing and falls story onto a very narrow ledge. He broke his rule this time, catching her with the Force. She talked to him in her sleep that night.

She’s thirteen. She goes to Niima Outpost to speak with the women. Trying to understand why she’s bleeding. She has been scraping at her skin, feeling ashamed, and he wished he could take the insecurities away for her. The women explain all she needs to know. They sell her an implant. Warn her that if she doesnt use it, the men might make her a mother… She cries herself to sleep that night. For the first time in a year. The realization that she was relegated to this kind of fear for the rest of her life, too much.

She’s fifteen. An older male tried to touch her. She’s been practicing a staff combat since her first menstrual cycle. And she completely obliterates him.

She’s sixteen, and growing into herself. She gets lonely, but she never reaches out to anyone. She has long forgotten her “imaginary friend”. But she keeps the tick marks. And she talks in her sleep.

She’s seventeen. And she’s a fearsome creature. She scavenges better than anyone else. Deft hands, strong will, whily smarts to rival anyone who may try to fool her. She keeps parts for later dates. Sometimes gives them to someone else to split that rations; know that Plutt gives twice as much to to anyone else for a prized part. 

She’s eighteen. She’s stopped talking to people altogether. Her only communication is with Plutt or animalistic grunts as she pelts thrives away from her supplies. She spends days climbing the massive Star Destroyers, pulling out scraps from places no one else is able to find; so talented with the little Force he has left for her. Every now and then she feels a tingling at the back of her neck and she looks around, expecting there to be another looter nearby. She doesn’t realize it’s him. And he has to suppress his Force.

She’s nineteen. And impossibly beautiful. Beautiful in the way nature is fearsome. She’s unnaturally adept at taking care of herself. Capable of fixing any mechanism, and understanding holopads full of other languages without even needing to learn them. He knows it’s time he trusts her. And he does. He trusts her fully to take care of herself. But to trust her with her own Force. 

Nighttime was always the hardest to stay away. All those years of her growing up. So alone. He’d help her sleep. Laying a hand on her back, her body curled in her signature fetal position. She was a heavy sleeper he found. Drool and snoring. But she was also fitful. Nightmares terrorizing her dreams. He would channel his Force through the tips of his fingers, into her dreams. He’d show her a peaceful planet. Oceans. An island. The irony is not lost on him, but these dreams are her favorite. The expanse of tumultuous blues, and an island teeming with life and oh so green… he can’t bring himself to not give her peace. There have been a few slips. Her Force has grown restless and it reaches out to his, pushing back into his dreams. Seeing him in a black tunic, soft eyes, and a memory of a kiss… he always shuts it down then. He always steps away.

Tonight is no different. And he gently lifts his hand from between her shoulder blades. 

Ben stands and walks to the open belly of the AT-AT. He sighs. His mind wanders to the woman he fell in love with. The woman who floored him and ripped away his illusions of destiny. A destiny he’d do foolishly chased, to run away from his fears. He kisses his Rey. Hoping beyond hope that she is looking for him. It means nothing… because he is going to keep his promise to her. He is going to come back for her- he just hopes that their kiss in the near future, meant as much as he’d hoped… Dyad or not, when he’d died, he died a monster. He died only just shedding his supreme leader ambitions. 

Ben’s eyes look back to the younger Rey. Her pout so unbelievably adorable. And a swell of unconditional love rushes through him. 

_ No, if she wants me, I’ll wait for her to find me. Until then, I will spend eternity being here for her. _

A loud crack and rumble sounds through the night. Ben’s head swivels fast, to look into the direction of the disturbance. His eyes look up to the sky as he feels in the Force the mighty size of a Star Destroyer. His heart beats erratically. His breath becomes short… 

_ Wait, what night is this? _

And he knows irrefutably, it is time. Time for her awakening


	3. Looper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen to 'Circles' by Post Malone for this chapter!

The Galaxy felt torn. The dark side so heavy in the air. The nights seem darker and colder. And the stars seem to dim; cowering to save the little light they had left. 

Ben watches as a Stormtrooper flinches away from the blood on his helmet. And he realizes it’s the  _ traitor _ . The light of his Force ignited just then. And Ben scoffs; shock ripples through him as he realizes he never noticed the strength FN-2187 possessed. 

_ Maybe I should have paid more attention to you… _

The little village was rounded up, and Ben feels a great sorrowful sigh in the Force. He can’t change what happens, but he sends an affirming notion to the traitor. Settles the feeling of  _ wrongness _ in this moment. Ben watches as the feeling floods the Trooper, and as his blasters drops. 

_ It’s your time, she’s going to need you… _

Ben summons the Force and is suddenly at Rey’s side again. His hand comes up to rest on her head. He gives her one last dream, one last peaceful night’s rest before her whole life changes…

  
  


He watches in horror as he feels her fear; terrified of the voices calling to her. Rey’s eyes stay wide as she follows the Force- follows him- to the saber in Maz’s vault. He merely suggested it to her, but once her hand opened the door it flies open wide. Ben hears voices that never reached out to him. Voices that guide her to his saber. When she touches it, her world spins into chaos, and he watches as she tries to navigate this dreamscape. Tries to run away from the feeling of  _ destiny _ \- but instead runs into his terrifying masked self…

She flies back onto the cobble floor of the basement. Scrambles back to escape the room, the saber still clutched in her hands. Maz is there. Breathless. Hopeful… she pleas with Rey to accept this fate; to accept the Force’s will. 

_ The belonging you seek is not behind you... it is ahead. I am no Jedi, but I know the Force. It moves through and surrounds every living thing. Close your eyes... Feel it... The light... it's always been there. It will guide you. The saber. Take it. _

He's desperate to take this paralyzing weight off her shoulders. Wishes that he was able to rewrite these things. Take away this destiny. She deserves so much better. Does not deserve the oppressive will of the Force. And he hates himself. Hates this damned galaxy for making this girl of all beings the one to have to bring balance to the Force, with him... Reys stands, head shaking. Feeling the exact same sentiment.

Maz’s eyes find him then, and they spear through him with a clang like a gong clattering on the stone floor Rey had sat upon. His eyes flit up to watch Rey run away. He nearly topples over to catch up, but Maz reaches out to him.

_ **You’ve done quite a number on her, Young Solo.** _ Maz scoffs.

_ I had to. Too many eyes on her, even on Jakku. _ He says breathlessly.

_ **You’re slipping, boy. If you’re not careful, that girl is going to crack. And you?** _ Maz looks off, to some distant point he can't see.  ** _Well … Maybe some of the consequences coming from you meddling too much, are exactly what you need..._ **

_ What consequences? What do you mean? Is Rey going to be okay? I didn’t ask for this! _

Maz snorts.  ** _No one asks for what the Force has for them… You and that girl really are meant for eachother… Go- I think we both know she’s going to need you- for now…_ **

His brows knit together in a frustrated curve, the exasperation rolling off him. Why was this little woman always so cryptic. Maz simply huffs as if she’s been so obvious, throwing her little hands in the air, with a shake of her head, and she stomps up the steps with his old saber.

Ben doesn’t have the time to think about the ominous warning she gave, the sound of thunderous Destroyers and screaming wings of TIE’s shakes the walls.

_ I’m coming, Rey… _

  
  
  
  


It’s surreal watching himself. Seeing himself with her. Ben blushes. The obviousness of his infatuation is clearly visible. But… He can’t understand where it came from. He remembers now, in a weird haze, as an officer told him about the droid- about a girl…

** _What- girl?_ **

He remembers feeling the weight of change in that moment. The feeling of a string in his chest pulling taught; fixed to some unrecognizable point elsewhere. And the feeling felt a lot like  _ home _ . 

He remembers dreaming of the darkness at night. Dreaming of the twisted version of events of the night the Jedi Temple fell. The version everyone believed he was responsible for. The lightning streaking through the air and the rain pelting upon jetblack stone; dead bodies illuminated with each flash of light. The Knights of Ren surrounding him, panting from the effort of doing his bidding. None of this happened. But somehow this dark version of that night permeated him- haunted him. Suffused itself into his mind, and further solidified the monster he was trying to become. Ben knows now it was Snoke- was Palpatine- all along.

And he remembers, every night, he would see  _ her. _ That’s all he knew her to be. A shivering figure, with wide hazel eyes.  _ Kylo Ren _ had only thought it to be metaphor- a manifestation of the jedi pupils and the guilt he felt for them. But Mitaka’s debrief shook him awake. 

Ben now watches himself freeze this girl, a younger Rey. Shivering from the Force hold he had out her in. The spitting image of all those dreams. How in the dreams she almost glowed, like a beacon of light penetrating the illusions he shrouded himself in. And if Kylo had paid more attention, he would have noticed the near-glow between their Forces.

Ben watches Kylo rip the consciousness from Rey. Feels an unfathomable rage with himself. A contrary mix of emotions- knowing that this was how they would be bonded. Yet he wishes he could save Rey from this- from himself-  _ from Kylo. _

And the undeniable longing for  _ his _ Rey ebbs within him. The remembrance of holding her in his arms echoes through his bones. The feel of her warmth through the linen of his tunic. Ben trembles.

Ben stands behind Rey as Kylo interrogates her. He snorts at how obvious he was trying to impress her. Knowing now that Rey of Jakku, his scavenger girl, was not easily swayed. 

_ Push back, Rey… _

Ben compels her. Begs her. Knowing that Kylo would tremble in fear. Not just from memory. But knowing the kind of man Kylo was. A man without an opposite. Without an equal. The snarl that envelops her face brings a flood of pride within him. The same snarl he watches contort her face, as Kylo pants in the snow. Knocked to the ground with a steaming gash through his face.

_ Good, Rey… Not too far though, Sweetheart… _

She shivers. Fear courses through her veins. The heat leaving her as she feels a realization rip through her. A feeling of pity. A feeling of compassion. 

_ Oh, Rey… I never knew…  _

As if the planet feels the shattering moment, it cracks a separates Kylo and a trembling Rey.

She’s thrust into a torrent of celebration, and mourning, and saying goodbye to the first family she’s ever had. She kisses the ex-Trooper’s forehead. Squeezes his hand nearly as hard her own heart constricts with the uncertainty of seeing her friend again.

Ben ambles after her as she traverses up the endless steps of Ach-To. Feels the frustration- near rage- of a dismissive Luke Skywalker. Feels her fear, seeing Kylo again. Feels the willful avoidance of her curiosity towards Kylo. The instinctual pull towards the truth. He realizes that when Luke tells her his version of the story, Rey felt a pull in the Force. A need for more. A sensation that spoke to her and said,  _ something's not quite right. _

He huffs out a breath when she believes Kylo after their confrontation. Ben struggles to hold himself together under the weight of her affectionate gaze in the firelight. Remembering the thick emotions that choked him as Kylo. The instinctual need to reach out to her as she reached for him. Ben can’t breathe as he feels her resolve to trust him… Watches her pin down a guilty Luke. Go to him. Fight with him. Chokes out a sob with the betrayal she feels as she closes the Falcon’s door on a knelt Kylo. And when she feels so alone surrounded by her friends.

_ Sweetheart… I’m here… You’re not alone… _

He knows she can't hear him. But he desperately wishes for her to  _ feel _ it.

** _Don’t call me sweetheart…_ **

Ben freezes. Her words clanging against every fiber in him… Did she- just  _ hear  _ him?

** _I just want to sleep… Can you please- just leave me be…_ **

Ben gulps. Yes. This Rey, can hear him. She can  _ feel _ him…

  
_ I have a bad feeling about this… _


	4. Prometheus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a short. a prequel chapter, if you will. I wanted to put into context a very important meeting between an emo trash baby and lord emo trash baby (his grandfather)

“How- how am I here?” Ben asks. The tremble of his body is too much to fight, and a furious blush blossoms upon his ears.

“No need to be embarrassed, Ben,” Anakin snorts. He sees the dripping mirth he’s seen a million times in the eyes of his mother and uncle.

“Yeah, well- they took after me; Luke got more of his mother though,” Anakin retorts to his thoughts.

“Stop reading my mind,” Ben huffs; nearly growls. A fiery sensation bubbling in his lungs.

“Ben Skywalker Solo,” His grandfather’s words aren’t a rebuke. Not entirely. They’re names, laid out before them. Totems to be admired and observed, “You haven’t had an easy go of it.”

“No thanks to you,” Ben snaps. He watches Anakin’s eyebrows raise, and a pensive lip curls into a sympathetic smirk.

“I don’t blame you for seeing it that way.” 

Anakin was bent on one knee, and now stands to fold his hands together in the sleeves of his robes. He turns away from Ben. A myriad of thoughts dance across his face in little ticks here and there.

“Ben- I don’t think I can tell you to be more accountable. I hadn’t. I blamed slavery. The Jedi. Obi-Wan. But at the end of the day- I made my choices. And by the Force, my consequences were duly served. Yet- here I am. One with the Force. In this place… I’ve waited for you. Only you.”

“Where were you when I needed you?!” the roar is abrupt. If this place could echo, the sound would have shaken the walls… Ben looks around and his breath catches.

There weren't actually walls. It was black. Blacker than black. A void. But there were stars- galaxies- that span around them; almost imperceptibly it was so slow. And within the universe they now stood, white streaks of pure light decorated the space in between the stars. They form walkways, and walls, and archways that must be some sort of doors. Glyphs trim the round frames.

“Where are we exactly?” Ben says, breathlessly, stumbling as he stands. Forgetting completely the anger. 

“The World Between Worlds,” Anakin says. His gaze traces the miracle before them; following the path Ben’s own eyes take.

Ben snorts, “Is this some form of afterlife?”

“I don't know why you’re so amused- you’re obviously here. Unless I choose otherwise.”

Ben’s throat flexes as his esophagus swallows nothing. He immediately stops taking in the expanse, and looks Anakin dead in the eye.

“What?” he chokes out. Sounding like the scared child he’d once been.

“I don't think you ever grew out of that, now did you?” Anakin raises a single eyebrow. Ben blushes- again. Angrily this time. 

“I never meant to abandon you, Ben,” Anakin sighs; revisiting the topic from earlier, “But I had- hadn’t i?”

Ben looks at Anakin to see if it was a trap. A cluster of words meant to scathe him later- be used as some form of guilt or another. But he is only met with kindness. He simply nods to acknowledge the years of hurt and isolation he has felt.

“Yeah- I did,” Anakin replies with his own bobbing head. He starts to walk away. His words drift behind him to Ben’s ears.

Ben nearly topples over, starting to run after this ghost, putting one foot before the other to follow Anakin.

“I was always there, kid. I was always beaconing to you. That pull you always felt? But… you wouldn’t hear it. You were so convinced that the darkness was your path. You entrenched yourself in Palpatine’s lies, that if I had been able to get to you- anything I would have said would have seemed like platitudes. So, I came here to wait. To wait for the time when you were ready to see the truth. And unfortunately, in your ambition to become the worst part of me, you followed my footsteps too closely.”

“I died.” Ben affirms…

“For the one you loved,” Anakin stops in front of an archway, his hand coming up to lay on Ben’s shoulder. His nimble, gloved fingers curl in the loose linen of Ben’s tunic. His eyes look to an archway that suddenly bursts with life, and the back to Ben. Instinctual realization dawns on Ben as his eyes go wide, and he obstinately tries to pull away from Anakin.

“Well, Ben- we can't have history repeating itself entirely, can we?”

And with a firm and final shove, Ben is pushed into a swirl of time and space. And this time, instead of black, everything is bright and warm and sunny. When his eyes refocus, and the smell of metal and sand and heat hit his nose he realizes where he is... _Jakku_...

With a final word, Ben hears Anakin say, _Don't abandon her..._  
  



	5. Legacy (Part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the delay. I lost my fur baby. I went through a financial scare. Got a new job... it's been a whirlwind. But I'm grateful for the love and support of friends and fandom family. Hope y'all enjoy this filler chapter for a pretty intense following chapter. Needing to get some emotions into it.

Rey’s dreams are vivid. The smells, the feel. He has permitted himself to dwell here. In this place where she needs him most. The tilt-shift landscape, foggy with nostalgia and illusion, tend to warp into painfully frightful nightmares. 

“Why are _ you _ here?” Her venom spears through him as he jumps. He hadn’t felt her. He hopes this won’t be a problem.

Their eyes meet. Ben sees her cheeks brighten with a tinge of pink. Her lips part. Her eyes widen.

He suddenly realizes that she has never seen him this way before. Soft, open, dressed only in his tunic and trousers and boots.

Rey’s brows suddenly tense and crinkle the skin between them. He doesn’t speak. He can’t. Ben knows that if he speaks, she’ll sense he is different; too smart not to.

“I asked you a question,” the words choke her. He can hear the hurt and the fear in them. He almost feels the pain she is in. Because of him- because of Kylo. 

“Oh,” she blinks. Her crouched shoulders, and bent knees, soften and she stands straighter. More curious, “You’re not real.”

And if the Force had a face, Ben could kiss it. Gratitude to whatever being was looking out for him overtakes him. He keeps his face stoic, however. Though the tilt of her inquisitive head makes him smirk slightly. This proves to be a grave mistake.

The sunny skies start to darken, and rain begins to fall. Rey’s eyes change color as her pupils turn her green orbs to black. She shakes her head as dark thoughts seem to rush through it. And fear, bone melting fear, replaces the anger. Ben watches her eyes fill with tears, looking him up and down, before she runs away. He thinks it best not to follow this once…

She’s gone somewhere in this dreamscape, and he is left to admire her inner world. Tall canopies, bustling with life. Impossibly green. He walks through the foliage of exotic flowers and leaves. 

His bare fingers touch a tree, as he balances himself to round a steep corner in the soil. A vicious streak of lightning nearly blinds him, and he jumps from the crack of it. A feeling takes over him then. 

_ Maybe… _ he thinks.

And to test the hypothesis, he reaches out to stroke the bark again. As confirmation, another violent bolt shakes the air around him. 

Ben decides how he will help her here. WIthout reaching out directly. And he sits.

He presses his back against the tree, and is not phased when another flash and rumble responds to his movement. He breathes deep. And lays a gentle hand on a root jutting out from the soil. Around him the rain intensifies and the wind makes the droplets feel like pellets on his skin. He’s soaked. But he presses on…

His palm lays flat for some time, but when the wind begins to peak, he strokes the rough root with his fingertips. Gradually, his whole hand. Breathing in and gauging his success as the wind slows and the rain softens. Eventually, the clouds lighten, and the sun peaks out.

“Rey,” He breathes out. Soothing. A crooning benediction. He stands then and when he turns, he finds her curled into a ball tucked into the other side of the tree.

Her skin has raised bumps from the cold wet. What skin he could see, that is. But he knows the shaking of her shoulders and back isn’t from the chilly air.

Ben says nothing as he sits beside her. Simply reaches out a hand to lay upon her shoulder.

“You’ve done this before, haven’t you?” she sighs. He feels her skin soften as it begins to warm up. She doesn’t move though; doesn’t turn around. Nor does she look up at him.

“I’ve been where you are, yes,” it’s a gentle lie. A necessity. Something in his gut tells him to keep who he is a secret. To shield her from him, this him, for now.

“Oh,” she blinks before sitting up. Their eyes meet. And she surprises him. She reaches up and brushes a soaked tendril of hair off his brow. Her eyelids flutter when she hears his breath choke him.

She stands then. And he simply stares. Watches her back into the tree- watching him.

“Why are you here?” it's not really a question for him. She curls two arms over her middle, under her breasts, and he knows that she is covering her heart. She is feeling exactly what he does- pain. Aching.

“What do you think?” He can't help himself. He simply needs to hear her speak again. Drunk off the knowledge that he is closer to _ his _ Rey than he has ever before. 

“I think the Force could knock on someone else’s door to take over it's moot cause- I don’t want to be another pawn… Look what happened to your family,” she snipes. He flinches. And she sees the wince from hearing the truth. She smiles ruefully.

“You have a point,” he sees her eye glitter, only for a moment, and it's a spark of hope. And just as quickly it's gone- replaced by a timid shyness he never thought she possessed.

“You think you could stay a nice dream Kylo, and walk with me or- talk?” small wisps of hair fall about her face as she shuffles a foot, her cheeks puff out a little bent down to the ground, and her lashes flutter impossibly fast. He can almost see her pulse matching the tempo.

“Yes,” he says, too abruptly- too loudly. She jumps. And he smiles ruefully in return.

She doesn’t respond with words. Instead she stands straight again, and a joyfulness fills her eyes. Only her eyes. The rest of her face seems to remain sober. Except a minor tick at the corner of her lips.

He reaches out a hand to her. And she takes it….

  
  



End file.
